SORRY DOST!!

FILM: Dostana
DIRECTOR: Tarun Mansukhani
CAST: Priyanka Chopra, Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham.




The movie has started. The camera speeds through a water body and then we see an American city with tall buildings. No guys you are not watching Kal Ho Na Ho, this is the new flick from the same banner, Dostana!

The promos of Dostana revealing Priyanka in a very very hot swimsuit, John with his irresistible packs and cuts, Abhishek with his cute regular face, made many of the young people excited about this movie. The good music by Vishal and Shekhar only added to the excitement. But this Tarun Mansukhani directed movie is in one word a "disaster".

This was meant to be a Bollywood comedy hence I have no authority to scrutinize it or find faults in the direction or something, but all this should do is make me really laugh aloud. Unfortunately this movie fails in doing so. Though few jokes are really funny, like the joke in which Abhishek refers Gabbar Singh as gay.

Two almost strangers, John and Abhi, act gay to get a room in an apartment which would cost them 2000 $. Well I dont know why they had to go through all this mess. They could have rather found some other place with the same money. Now situations force them too get themselves registered as gays. Priyanka owns the apartment and hence stays with them and this develops the three into a dostana. After this point the movie seems to keep losing sense. I mean initially they showed John to be lusty and desperate, but there were very few instances highlighting this fact later. Or may be it was unclear that how could Priyanka not have any straight guys roaming around her even though she was so beautiful and successful. Anyways.

Finally there comes a guy in Bobby Deol who is someone of professional rivalry to Priyanka. This rivalry soon develops into love. Though attempts were made to show this transition but the screenplay couldnt support this emotional transition. So its all confusion when John , Abhishek and Bobby like Priyanka. Priyanka likes the three too, but cant get to the two as she thinks they are gay. Amidst all this the plot starts loosening. From men stripping and then dancing in a prestigious auction to John and Abhishek actually locking lips(dont you think I should have kept this under wraps??), this movie ventures into unwanted zones as far as the story was concerned.

The movie, as I mentioned before, keeps giving you glimpses of Kal Ho Naa Ho and its major product, Kantaben. Kirron Kher and Boman Irani appear and disappear. So all and all the comedy part was not that funny, the sad part was not at all touching and the climax felt like what the...

Bobby Deol has been made a fool in this movie. They havent kept him in the promos and purposely made him arrive late at places where dance numbers would take place, and called his act in the movie a guest appearance, but hes very much a full fledged character in the movie! He would be disappointed.

As I said such movies should not be judged on basis of practicality or reality but only by the "how much you laughed" factor. And I didnt laugh much to be honest. Some time ago I read that Priyadarshan is remaking the Iranian classic Children of Heaven with Darsheel Safary as Bum Bum Bole. While I suggest he should not be making that movie (rather ruin the classic), I also suggest he should have made Dostana with the same Dharma Productions' meaninglessly expensive production. So not really thumbs up to this Dostana, you could do without watching it.

BOND IS BACK, DID IT BANG???

FILM: Quantum of Solace
DIRECTOR: Marc Froster CAST: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric




Marc Froster's Quantum of Solace, which is necessarily the continuation of the story he told two years back, Casino Royale. Ian Fleming, I consider should be amongst the top 100 thinkers of the 20th century. The imagination that has gone into the making of the Bond is just impeccable. During the days when the sun started setting in the British empire and real life special agents of Russia and the United States did high level espionage in various corners of the world, thinkers like Fleming gave the so called Solace to the British mass by describing great imaginations of cool weapons and accessories. This movie though not written by Ian Fleming but by Paul and Neal Haggis is an equally lovely story. In Quantum of Solace the basic plot is the point where we left in Casino Royale. After being betrayed by the girl he loved,Vesper, Bond was in search of the person who was the reason for this betrayal. This was his personal task along with the actual job he had in hand. On interrogation of Mr White, Bond discovers that there is existence of a secret unheard organisation. White mentions that this organisation has its plants everywhere and anywhere. And as soon as he says it, one of the men around the investigation area opened fire and killed a few around and proved it that truly this organisation was present everywhere. But this fact gets super faded in due course and you dont really get scared by this organisation and dont see its men everywhere!! This organisation was responsible to blackmail Vesper to steal Bond's casino earnings(in Casino Royale). Now in Haiti, Italy, Bond meets Camille due to a mistake of identity and this introduces him further to a person called Dominic Greene(Amalric), who is a heartless businessman who talks of environmental issues, but actually is a major force in a criminal organisation called Quantum.

Now here starts the adventure of Bond through places like Austria, Italy, Bolivia and South America where he realises the depth of the nexus Greene is involved into and what big intentions he has and how are they ecologically and politically dangerous for the world. Within this journey, the movie provides non stop action(becomes a headache at a point) and Bond goes closer to completing both his personal and professional goals. The script is really intrguing but I am afraid the direction was not up to the mark. Froster erred quiet a few times and that upsets this flick to be called a classic, otherwise the plot has good enough elements to make it a great classic. Also one thing which irritated me was the photography. Too much of close up in action sequences is a trick used by cameramen to make the effect of shaking movement. Here it was more necessary to show a proper chasing scene rather than create illusions of a chase. In most action scenes, the close up was too much which spoils up the broth. Coming to the performances, I guess after Sean its Daniel. He has performed very nicely. Olga suits her character very well and gives a good enough performance. Amalric for me was the high point in the acting as far as Quantum of Solace is concerned. Going through public responses, Bond lovers are not really happy with Quantum of Solace, nor am I. Probably next time they will need something more than a quantum to give solace to the lovers of Bond, James Bond!

BHANDARKAR BHANDA PHODKAR

MOVIE: Fashion
CAST: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut , Mugdha Godse
DIRECTOR: Madhur Bhandarkar




Everybody knows that Bhandarkar has always taken up the job to expose out realities of various societies. Be it the corporate world in Corporate or the glamorous world from the eyes of journalists in Page 3 or the life on a Traffic Signal. Here in Fashion he views the glamorous world from various eyes within and outside the glamorous world. Its the beeds of Bhandarkar's observation and research that have been weaved into a three hour movie. Even though it is nothing but a collage of known things it is dramatically well built to keep the audience guessing and teach them many things on the way both about the world of Fashion and also about the world itself.

Meghna Mathur(Priyanka Chopra) is a Chandigarh girl who comes to Mumbai to become not a model, but a supermodel . The story is about her journey of ups and downs in the industry. Kangana Ranaut plays an established model who is overthrown by Chopra. Mugdha Godse is an experienced and struggling model who knows everything about the industry but is not able to taste success.

It is a complete inner and over view of the industry and Bhandarkar's excellence lies in beautifully weaving both into a beautiful cinematic experience. He exposes a lot of things which are already known to most but he shows us the humanity attached with those inhuman deeds. We often say so many things about models and actresses and how they sell themselves for success. We are sometimes right, but often wrong. Fashion not only tells us that there is sex to rise up here, there is drug consumption to manage stress, there are gay fashion designers, there is gossip about models, there are drink and drive cases, but it also explains how much humanity is existing here.

We often say that relationships are nothing in the world of glamour. But Bhandarkar shows how relationships are everything in this world. He has touched some really matured relationships and few have made me cry. The scene where the successful but gay designer Rahul Arora, played exceptionally well by Samir Soni, proposes Mugdha for a no sex marriage is a very cute scene and a lot of humanity is involved in it. Gays have been a joke, as big a joke as eunuchs in our society. Kal Ho Naa Ho and now Dostana have made fun of gays. Being gay is not wrong. Gays are as male as males. But their mental set up is a bit different and they do not have sexual desires for women. Thats it. Bhandarkar explains this point very well too.

In the second half the friendly relationship that develops between one time rivals Kangana-Priyanka is another beautiful aspect of this cinema.The reunion of Priyanka with her parents show another aspect of relationships.

Also the scene when Priyanka tells Arbaaz Khan who plays Sarin, the owner of a fashion magazine Panache that she is pregnant with her child and Arbaaz says, "Bas Itni Si Baat. It can be handled" strike a statement about this world.

Fashion though continuosly involves a lot of skin show, bikini clad models, even a wardrobe malfunctioning scene, is not really a cheap material for cheap people to whistle in a dark theatre and say, "Abey kya item hai". Though the girls are really hot items, amongst all these glam sham, Bhandarkar gives us a great message of rise and fall not only in the fashion world, but in any field.

Coming to performances, Kangana plays the eccentric girl very well, like she did in Gangster and Woh Lamhe. Her performances in these two movies made her the clear choice for this role to Bhandarkar as well. Priyanka plays various moods in the movie. One of a struggling model, that of a rising superstar, that of a superstar with loads of attitude, that of a falling superstar with attitude but no work, that of a defeated person abandoned by all, and that of a person whos come back....and she excells in all these colours. Mugdha has given the best debut performance surpassing the good acting of Imran Khan in Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na . Arjun Bajwa is a new face to Bollywood as well and after being a successful Telegu actor, I am sure he is going to make it big here.

Samir Soni, Kitu Gidwani, Harsh Chhaya, Raj Babbar play their respective roles very, very well. Coming to Arbaaz Khan who is the second male lead in the movie has given his career best performance. Everyone else who was a part of this movie has done fantastic.

Few things were a bit unclear like the way Mugdha and Priyanka got introduced also the fact that why was a cocaine obsessed person like Kangana Ranaut was given something which also excites the nerve, caffeine in coffee. These are minor points but unexplained.

Salim Sulaiman give a good background score and a beautiful songs were composed by them. The producers have done full justice. The cameos were good, but one expected much more. If Karan Johar would have been given charge of this he would have roped in more exciting faces in the movie. So to sum up, Fashion is definately the best Bhandarkar movie and is a must watch!!!

LOT OF ICING, BUT WHERE'S THE CAKE??

MOVIE: Golmaal Returns
DIRECTOR: Rohit Shetty
CAST: Ajay Devgan, Kareena Kapoor, Tushar Kapoor, Amrita Arora, Arshad Warsi, Shreyas Talpade, Celina Jaitley




MTV Fully Faltoo has spoofed a few recent classics into complete disasters. But they have off late become the biggest source of comic entertainment amongst the MTV watchers. One big reason these non sense spoofs have become popular is because they have spoofed the popular. All three spoofed movies: Chak De, Jodha Akbar and Taare Zameen Par are both critically and publicly acclaimed. Golmaal spoofs throughout the movie, more in the second half, and finally becomes a collection of spoof of flops like Saawariya and Tashan. They continued to spoof Black and Munnabhai MBBS here also like in the first part.

The comic element was there. The dialogue writing was very nice and some were as fresh as a daisy and really really funny. Apt lines like, "Horny ko kaun taal sakta hai" and "Shaq What the.." made the crowd laugh aloud. Also some not so innovative and long heard jokes were repeated like the one on the secretary and personal secretary. Amongst all the comedy and entertainment, you slowly start realising that theres no story actually...

Basically, Devgan is a sex obsessed male(tharki) and Kareena is a K-serial freak, doubtful wife(as she should be). Amrita Arora is Devgan's sister and Tushar is Kareena's brother. They all live in the same house. Amrita Aroras love interest is a cop played by Arshad Warsi. Shreyas Talpade comes for a job to Devgan and Celina Jaitley is Talpades love interest.

One night under strange circumstances, a murder occurs and the same night Devgan had to spend a night with Celina under forceful circumstances. So the whole movie is about how he produces the whereabouts of his not being there that night and also how he proves to the police that he is not the murderer. The movie gets over dramatic at times and is a "comedy-jerker" Slowly towards the end they lose grip over the story and the movie heads to a poor finish.

Like is the trend in all comedy movies these days, the climax brings together all the characters. Its very important to make this collection believable. I think this movie does well here to bring all the characters together for the climax. I guess amongst recent flicks the best climax was that in the 2003 Hungama by Priyadarshan. But unfortunately the climax is sheer nonsense. Over dramatic and not really funny. Also there was a song prior to the climax with lots of special effects which was completely unnecessary.

Clearly, this is a collection of relatively good jokes punched into a two and a half hour movie with a ten minute story. This reflects the dangerous tendency in comedy movie makers of Bollywood. They go ahead with a script without perfecting it and just punch good jokes and promote it well to make it a hit. Comedy movies should have a very strong script which should have a strong message and should have excellent dialogues and jokes. The dialogues and jokes are the icing though which are meaningless without the strong base of the script. Golmaal Returns makes a lot of icing here, but no cake...no story....no message. So like many other names like Sunday, Phir Hera Pheri, Bhagam Bhaag and also for that matter the Golmaal 1, this flick too gets thrown into the nonsense bin....Phew! Golmaal!!

HIGH MESS RESHAMMIYA

MOVIE: Karzzz
CAST: Himesh Reshammiya, Shweta Kumar, Urmila Matondkar
DIRECTOR: Satish Kaushik




After writing a nine hour examination all I wanted to do was sit back, relax and watch a movie in strong air condition and watch a relatively zero intellect movie so that my mind doesnt get further stressed. I dont think greats like Satyajit Ray, Cristopher Nolan, Ashutosh Gowariker and not so greats like even Karan Johar and Sanjay Gadhvi or for that matter Abbas Mastan could have given me such a movie where I use nothing of my brain. Thankfully though the cinema theatre I went to had a 630 show for a Satish Kaushik directed flick called Karzzzz!

This movie is as you all might know, the remake of the version which was few Zs short and was made by Subhash Ghai decades ago. The story is of rebirth. How a wicked kamini called Kaamini (Urmila Matondkar)kills her fiance (Dino Morea) for huge property he owned in South Africa. South Africa seems to be too lucky for Bollywood. The few hits this year like Race and Jannat were shot mostly in South Africa. Karzzz too is a hit I hear!

Dino Morea dies in a relatively less stupid plane crash and dies only to come back with a vengeance, 25 years later, in a less good looking avatar of Monty(Himesh Reshammiya).... After this scene the whole movie is like a music video compilation and not so hillarious comedy events and not so romantic romantic scenes. There is this girl Tina (Shweta Kumar) who is Himesh's love interest. The story is that he slowly starts remembering his past life and then finally with the help of Tina plans to kill Princess Kaamini(the prefix added after she got hold of all that property)

Let me be really frank: the acting wasnt all that bad, Himesh has really improved from the disastrous last Suroor of his. Shweta Kumar gives a very charming appearance and a pretty confident debut. Urmila, except for her slightly over expressive face at times, was a charm to watch and suited the character nicely. All this came as a nice surprise to me as I did not expect nice performances from Himesh and Shweta atleast. But stop....the movie is still a dud! and it is so because of Satish Kaushik....who has literally spoiled the movie. I think this is the worst possible direction I have come across from a long time.

In one of the scenes, Monty rides a helicopter and is in air close to the ground where the heroine is standing. I have been close to choppers on numerous occasions and I know the ear tearing sound of the chopper fans and the gusty wind that it produces.....but here we see Himesh nicely singing(without a microphone) and the heroine is smiling at him.

Another disaster was a scene where Monty was chasing Kaamini in a car. Suddenly Kaamini's car vanishes only to suddenly return in a private jet! As if the private jet was parked out somewhere in the middle of the road....!! Also Satish Kaushik did not take care of the fact that the scene which was running parallel to this was shot at night and this scene was a broad noon scene!

This movie has also shown white women go mad mad mad and faint whenever they see this Gujju bhai Himess' and his hair in mess!!

If I start mentioning these mistakes, I would end up writing a "N Mistakes of Karzzz"....! There are many gliches like these in the movie. But overall when you want to rate it for fun and timepass, its a full nonsense and entertaining movie.....

When I went through the reviews in newspapers and the net recently I found the well celebrated Taran Adarsh of India FM has sung praises for this trash...I mean clearly one could see how purchased out was the writing. No wonder this is a must watch...I mean such movies are not normally made...where the actors and director make real shit out of tonnes of money at attractive locations. Talking about the comparisons with the old movie and stuff let me tell you Karzzzz cannot be compared to Karz or for that matter to Om Shanti Om. The latter are creatively miles ahead. If Karzzz can be compared to any other movie it is only Aapka Suroor and Himesh Bhai will be happy to listen that his effort in this one was better than his debut disaster!

Whenever I rate a movie and its below 5, you can take it from me that its not worth a watch. But heres an exception. This movie is worth what I gave it but is still a must watch. Not only I know this, Its many of us who know this. This X factor makes Himesh so successful. So at the end of the day you gotta say..."Maan Gaye Himesh bhai"

STIFFLERS FOR LIFE

Movie: American Pie : BETA HOUSE(2007)




Most things in life happen without you expecting them to happen. I never knew that I would be sitting(rather lying) on a relatively small single bed along with two more boys, and three more who were around in front of a personal computer, with reduced volumes so that "aunty doesnt hear", and watching a not so recommended for teens, teenage movie called the American Pie Beta House....

The movie is about the legacy of the Stiflers and the college keedas they do. It really took me time to adjust to what was going on in front of my eyes...I never saw things going so much out of control, rather out of censor on screen. But whatever be the case, being a man, it was fun! So talking about the story, Dwight Stiffler leads a house called the BETAs and their rivals are the GEEKS.... Both have got the greek letters as their symbols. The major part of the movie deals with how Dwight trains up new BETAs by making them complete 50 unbelievably mischeavous and maddening tasks! I remember one of those tasks was to have sex with a college proffesor!

Now these 50 tasks and the love life of a BETA in the making, Erik Stiffler forms the major part of the story. This includes super funny sequences like father encouraging child to have sex, girls stripping around in dance areas, common bathrooms for girls and guys, phew phew phew!!. For the climax we have this maddening event called the Greek Olympiad. In this we see the tussle between the Geeks and the Betas for supremacy and existence.

During these events many things happen which are not really describable(like the horse semen gun), but let me tell you, they are sheer fun.

One reason why I appreciate this movie is that though it has got maximum exposure and freedom in both dialogues and scenes, it still isnt an adult movie as such. It is an ever teen movie. It tickles your inner youth spirit and encourages you for many things, its your choice where you want to get tickled and where do you want your encouragement.

Most of the people would be encouraged to go around and try to create this "pseudo-sex anytime anyone " world and get into trouble in their real lives. But the real beauty of the movie is its encouragement for team spirit and the power of unity. How the BETAs defeat the GEEKs just by their superior team unity. Thats a thing which should be learnt.

Off late, this 2007 blockbuster has tickled my class friends all over. They also formed this BETA group in our Government run high school, got their group uniform and stuff and have united big time. I dont know what they achieved by trying to be Stifflers but I can tell you they are much stronger friends and are much more united than before because of this adhesive called BETA......Such is the effect of movies like these....

These considerations inspire me to become a BETA too....Malay are you listening?

NOT SO GOOD DEAR

FILM: The Last Lear
CAST: Amitabh Bachchan, Arjun Rampal, Priety Zinta
DIRECTOR: Rituparno Ghosh





There is a very popular saying that great people with great ideas make great things. Though it is true that great things can be made only with great ideas but it is not necessary that great ideas always create great things. William Shakespeare, the single writer who is a household name all over the world, is the first kind, great man, great ideas, great works. The director of this movie is unfortunately of the second kind. I have been following Rituda's movies from a long time. He shows flashes of brilliance in every work of his and every work of his comes with a flashy topic. Though technically he is the best director in India, logically he becomes really stupid at times. I have seen his works like Antarmahal, Khela, Choker Bali, Raincoat and many others. He is a gifted person but as I said, great man, great ideas but a messed up cake when we talk about work.

If you ask me what is the much hyped The Last Lear about, I will think for a minute and then say that it is mostly about an eccentric Shakespeare lover, a master stage artist, who left stage only because someone said something bad about his live in girlfriend(Shefali Shah). This man is compelled to do a movie now, his first, by an equally eccentric and almost another Shakespeare freak Arjun Rampal. Partly this movie also becomes a feminist andolan.. and has shown women in completely pure light.

The movie is based on the conversation of three women, Shefali Shah, Priety Zinta(Amitabh's costar in the movie) and Divya Dutta(Amitabh's nurse). They discuss things and the movie goes on.

I rated this movie so less only because of its fake promises and incompletenesses. It touches many sensitive issues very slightly and then moves on. And what it calls a climax is pure nonsense. In one of the scenes which build up the climax, Rampal asks Bachchan to walk without spectacles. He is doing a movie on a joker Maqbool . Now I dont know why a joker cant wear spectacles. And if it is too necessary why cant a contact lens be used?? Using such a weak point the climax was built. And we are made to believe that Rampal for the love of art and belief in perfectness makes Bachchan(75 in the movie) redo a dangerous stunt without any protection which injures him and fractures his spine and he loses every memory of his.

Now the initially fired feminist plot is long lost, the story of Maqbool is lost too somewhere and the weakest point of the story is chosen for the climax. The name of the movie could have been anything, The Last Lear, Maqbool, Three Women, The Conversation, Shake the sphere(haha). I think this point proves it all how waivered the plot was. Though everyone has given their career best performances(not Bachchan,he has done much better) because of Ritu da's greatness one says after the movie that all the good acting was for a complete NOTHING. This movie could have been included in the all time classics if a little more maturity and little less greatness would be associated with the director.